Confessions of the Secret Service

By

       M. Richard Maxson

      President Abraham Lincoln approved the formation of the United States Secret Service on the day he was shot and killed by John Wilkes Booth. It was originally a

government agency tasked with protecting the integrity of the nation’s currency because by 1865, up to one-third or even one-half of American money in circulation was fake. They were alter tasked with investigating those who would commit fraud against the government. In 1901, after the assassination of President William McKinley, Congress extended their duties to involve the protection of the president.

      As the name implies, the organization is extremely guarded when it comes to discussing details of their jobs, the ones’ they protect, and their own opinions. Former agent Tim Wood, along with journalists Ronald Kessler and Jeffrey Robinson (all authors of books about the Secret Service), conducting exclusive interviews with more than one hundred current and former Secret Service agents to learn more about the high officials they protect. These are a compilation of views over the last sixty years. Some are amusing and some surprising.

 

JOHN & JACQUELINE KENNEDY

• He was a philanderer of the highest order. 
• She ordered the kitchen help to save all the left-over wine from State dinners, mixed it with fresh wine and served again during the next White House occasion.

LYNDON & LADYBIRD JOHNSON

 

• LBJ was as crude as the day is long. 
• Both JFK and LBJ kept a lot of women in the White House for extramarital affairs and both had set up early warning systems to alert them if/when their wives were nearby. Both were promiscuous men. 
• After being caught by his wife having sex with a secretary in the Oval Office Johnson ordered the Secret Service to install a buzzer to warn him.
• She was either naive or just pretended to not know about her husband's many liaisons.

RICHARD & PAT NIXON

• A "moral" man, but very odd, weird & paranoid. 
• He had a horrible relationship with his family and was almost a recluse. 
• She was quiet most of the time.

SPIRO AGNEW

• He came across as a champion of family values the Vice President “was having affairs while in office.” 
• A detail of Secret Service agents once clandestinely took Agnew to a room on the fourth floor of Washington’s Regis Hotel and left him there unguarded for three hours, at the request of the Vice President.  A former agent said, “Leaving him in an unsecured location was a breach of security.  As agents, it was embarrassing because we were facilitating his adultery.   We felt like pimps.

GERALD & BETTY FORD

• A true gentlemen, who treated the Secret Service with respect and dignity. 
• He had a great sense of humor.  
• He loved to ski and often taunted agents to keep up with him on the slopes. 
• She drank a lot,  but eventually found sobriety and in 1982 founded the Betty Ford Center, which has aided over 90,000 people with a network of treatment centers for alcohol and chemical dependency.

JIMMY & ROSALYN CARTER

• A complete phony who would portray one picture of himself to public and very different in private, e.g. would be shown carrying his own luggage, but the suitcases were always empty. He kept empty ones just for photo ops.
• He wanted people to see him as pious and a non-drinker, but he and his family drank alcohol a lot!  
• He had disdain for the Secret Service and was very irresponsible with the football” with the nuclear codes. 
• He didn't think it was a big deal and would keep military aides at a great distance. 
• Often did not acknowledge the presence of Secret Service personnel assigned to serve him.
• She mostly did her own thing. 
• She enjoyed a screwdriver before church on Sunday.

RONALD & NANCY REAGAN

• Ronald Reagan treated the Secret Service agents, the Air Force One Crew and the staff of maids and butlers at the White House with respect.  
• President Reagan was known to carry a fire arm and told a former agent that it was “just in case you guys can’t do your job, I can help out.”  
• When Reagan traveled on his first presidential trip to the Soviet Union he packed a gun in his briefcase. 
• A former staff member stated that “Reagan was famous for firing up Air Force jets on behalf of children who needed transport for kidney operations.”  

GEORGE W. & LAURA BUSH

• The Secret Service loved him and Laura Bush.
• He was also the most physically in shape who had a very strict workout regimen. 
• The Bushes made sure their entire administrative and household staff understood that they were to respect and be considerate of the Secret Service. 
• She was one of the nicest First Ladies, if not the nicest. She never had any harsh word to say about anyone

BILL & HILLARY CLINTON

• Presidency was one giant party.
• Not trustworthy. 
• He was nice mainly because he wanted everyone to like him, but to him life is just one big game and party. Everyone knows about his sexuality. 
• She is another phony. Her personality would change the instant cameras were near. 
• She hated, with open disdain the military and Secret Service. 
• She was another who felt people were there to serve her. 
• She was always trying to keep tabs on Bill Clinton.

ALBERT GORE

• Was an egotistical ass
• Every agent assigned to protect the Vice President heard the famous reprimand to Al Gore III.  Gore told his son, “If you don’t straighten up, you won’t get into the right schools, and if you don’t get into the right schools, you could end up like these guys.”   As Gore said this he motioned to the agents.

GEORGE H. & BARBARA BUSH

• Extremely kind and considerate & always respectful. 
• Took great care in making sure the agents' comforts were taken care of. They even brought them meals. One time she brought warm clothes to agents standing outside at Kennebunkport. One was given a warm hat and, when he tried to say "no thanks" even though he was obviously freezing, the President said "Son, don't argue with the First Lady. Put the hat on."
• He was the most prompt of the Presidents. 
• He ran the White House like a well-oiled machine. 
• She ruled the house and spoke her mind

BARACK & MICHELLE OBAMA

• Clinton all over again - hates the military and looks down on the Secret Service. 
• He is egotistical and cunning. 
• He looks you in the eye and appears to agree with you but turns around and does the opposite. 
• He has temper tantrums. 
• She is a complete bitch who basically hates anybody who is not black, hates the military and looks at the Secret Service as servants. 

       Let us conclude with story of General McChrystal's resignation in Obama's office. This is directly from  from General McChrystal's book, Never Stand in Line Again.  Some men carry and handle their diplomacy better than others.  When former U.S. Military commander in Afghanistan, General McChrystal, was called into the Oval Office by Barack Obama, he knew things weren't going to go well when the President accused him of not supporting him in his political role as President. "It's not my job to support you as a politician, Mr. President;  it's my job to support you as Commander-in-Chief," McChrystal replied, and he handed Obama his resignation. Not satisfied with accepting McChrystal's

resignation, the President took a cheap parting shot. "I bet when I die you'll be happy to piss on my grave. " The General saluted and said, "Mr. President, I always told myself after leaving the Army I'd never stand in line again."